Emotional Mastery to help us move forward

Upgrading how you feel
to help you change what you DO

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Intentionality Series

UPDATE: This article was written to support the mood challenges of most readers here.  The blog of one reader reminded me to be SURE to say that some of you are dealing with issues that are more complex, and that other articles I’ve written might be more helpful to you.  Click to the PTSD/TBI LinkList for links to a selection of those.

Riding herd on runaway emotions

I recently found an emotional resiliency blog post by PsychCentral blogger Athena Staik, Ph.D. that fits right in with my focus on change-management in 2017.

She begins with four important points to keep in mind:

1. Emotion mastery is a built-in capacity, often ignored yet always available.
2. It is a learned ability to respond in a conscious manner that short-circuits our body’s survival-system to keep it from controlling us and our lives with ineffective automatic reactions and unconscious defensive strategies.
3. It involves developing an awareness of and connection to our thoughts, emotions and body sensations — so that we are able to, step by step, cultivate a practice, or lifestyle habit of making conscious, informed decisions that will keep us on course toward achieving our goals
4. In the process of cultivating emotion mastery, we will build the confidence and resilience we need to handle upcoming challenges more effectively.

Found HERE

Emotional Mastery

She continues by using the acronym M-A-S-T-E-R-Y to outline a system she recommends to help us tame our emotional reactivity.

The article seems to have been written from a neuro-typical point of view, so I don’t agree completely with every single thing she has to say about them.

I do agree with her on their importance, however – and I’m sharing in the hopes that her “MASTERY” mnemonic will help us all keep them in mind.

Mnemonic devices are techniques a person can use to help them improve their ability to remember something — a memory technique to help your brain better encode and recall important information.

You can jump over to Staik’s article to see what she has to offer in response to each letter.  My own thoughts will be found in the posts I’ve linked within or below each of her mnemonic assists.

 So lets take a look at them!

A different kind of Christmas Special from PorterGirl

Christmas Special:
The Tale Of The Cursed Hat

A wonderfully presented, original Christmas tale
from the creator of The Secret Diary Of PorterGirl.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOOD night!

NOT your average Hallmark™ Fare

If you find yourself a bit over-“joy”ed by the time Christmas Eve rolls along, this is a different kind of Christmas story with just a bit of a gothic twist to the ending.

It is beautifully read by actor Paul Butterworth, whom some of you may know from appearances in more than a few of the PorterGirl videos, even if you are unaware of his other theatrical credits.

Paul plays the Head Porter in the PorterGirl adventures – and author Lucy Brazier has posted a great deal of them online for both your viewing and reading pleasure.

Keep an eye peeled for the credits too – his director son does a lovely job of telling him what to do onscreen.

You’ll have to hop over to HER site to access the video (what you see below is just a still), but below that is what she has to say about Paul and the story.

Click HERE for Video

‘Tis the season for festive storytelling, so please welcome Old College’s very own Head Porter – British actor Paul Butterworth – reading to us a Christmas tale I have written especially for the occasion.

Paul has appeared in films such as The Full Monty and Frank, and is a stalwart of British TV – performing in soap operas, The Bill, All Creatures Great & Small, The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Holby City, Mysteries Of The Real Sherlock Holmes and many, many more.

Procrastination’s link to kludgy Executive Functioning

Getting a Round Tuit
CUTE — but not very helpful

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Reflections from posts in the Challenges Series

Oh those clever seminar leaders!

Found HERE

We all love the little gifties that are passed out at a great many seminars we have attended, seminars designed to help us fashion lives that are more productive and enlivening.

Most of us have a list of things we intend to do when “we get around to it” — but I can’t imagine how being gifted with a little round reminder that we need to STOP “procrastinating” and “just DO it” is going to make one whit of difference.

In most cases it’s shaming, actually, regardless of how positive the humorous intent – and shame rarely works well as a motivational technique.

Related Post: The Top Ten Reasons to Reframe Procrastination

We need to look clearly at what’s going on

Follow through to completion is a linear process modulated by the prefrontal cortex [PFC], the brain’s “conductor” that keeps us on track and in action, step after step.

Our vanilla-flavored friends rarely appreciate the fact that they have an unconscious advantage in the linear processing department – what is frequently referred to as “declarative memory.”  That makes certain kinds of information retrieval, organization and task completion, and – well, just about everything else – a heck of a lot easier for them.

With the ADD/EFD brain-style (and others with attentional spectrum dysregulations – all of us with Executive Functioning glitches), we seem to process sequential information in a fairly disjointed manner — the pieces somehow jumbled together — sometimes not recorded at all, even when we do our very best to keep our attention on matters at hand.

Too many guests at the EFD Table

Found HERE

Because the brain is soft and sloshes around in fluid inside a hard skull with bony protrusions – especially in the front area where the PFC is most vulnerable – any appreciable hit on the head is likely to result in a few problems with Executive Functioning.

Because the PFC is connected to almost every other part of the brain, it’s not much of a stretch to believe that strokes or medications that affect one one part of the brain are likely to have an effect on PFC connectivity as well.

Implication: any individual with a disorder, stroke or other brain damage affecting the prefrontal cortex is highly likely to experience brain-based executive functioning challenges of one sort or another.

In a nutshell, “Executive Function” is the mental ability to organize, prioritize, and accomplish tasks. It is figuring out what to do first, second, third, and so on, to see a task through to completion. Executive function involves things like being able to realistically determine, in advance, how long and how difficult a particular task will be to accomplish.
~ from a great 1st person article by PTSD advocate Linda Lee/LadyQuixote, Impaired Executive Function, My Invisible Disability

Connectivity challenges are experienced by individuals with mood disorders, autistic spectrum disorders, TBI/ABI, and more than a few neurological conditions such as sensory integration disorders, Parkinson’s, dyslexia — in fact, almost all of what I refer to as the alphabet disorders.

Due to the way the brain ages, even individuals who were born with the neurotypical brain style will begin to notice increasingly more Executive Functioning struggles as they get older.

Living within the boundaries of TIME

Why TIME can be so hard to track
MOST of us battle it – but some of us lose more often

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Challenges Series

If you want to know the truth about TIME, ask a kid

Kids know that, even on December 24th, the time between now and Christmas morning is MUCH longer than the time between the now of the last day of summer vacation and the first day of school.

How long those “golden rule days” last is open to debate in kid-courts everywhere.

Kids who enjoy learning and have great teachers
are positive that the school-day is short,
as the kids who don’t will swear it is interminable.

On this they can agree

Most kids beg for “just one more minute” to watch TV or play computer games – as if a measly 60 seconds is going to give them what they really want: to continue doing something that engages their attention and avoid doing something they find difficult or don’t want to do.

Science tells us that the perception of time is a function of interest and effort.
I say: only partly.

• NO extra time eases the transitions, for kids or adults – which is a huge part of the problem for anybody who isn’t strictly neurotypical and linear beyond belief.
• And it takes a lot of work to learn to work with and around hyperfocus – that “trapped in the NOW” state that brains challenged with attentional struggles use to compensate for kludgy focus.

What’s a poor time traveler to do?

Happy Turkey Day!

Be Thankful Today
and every today, as we have this day to remind us
(and let’s have a bit of levity with our gratitude!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Holidays can be hard at times

For any of you who need a little cheering up today, I’ve ended with a few cartoons that gave me a giggle.

8 Things I am trying to be especially thankful for today:

Found HERE

1. Even though I love to play holiday hostess, I’m thankful that I didn’t have to try to squeeze in several days of cooking and cleaning this year.
2. I’m thankful that I have a roof over my head, clothing choices that make me feel pretty as they keep me WARM, and that I won’t go hungry as the rest of the country feasts.
3. I’m thankful that TinkerToy is the best company a Mom could wish for on Thanksgiving, even if we never see another soul.
4. I’m thankful that I have so many wonderful and supportive virtual friends with whom to spend my time today.
   
5. I’m thankful that, even though I haven’t owned a television in decades and miss Manhattan like a lover, videos of Macy’s 2016 Thanksgiving Parade are sure to be posted online somewhere.
6. I’m thankful that TinkerToy’s post about N24 and chronorhythm disorders was finished early enough to be posted yesterday, so that I could commandeer our computer to wish all of my readers a very Happy Thanksgiving.
7. I’m particularly thankful that other than ADD, N-24, and presbyopia, I have usually been (and remain) amazingly healthy.
8. And I’m especially thankful that enough of that dreaded administrative work is behind me so that I can finally announce Open Enrollment for the upcoming Group Coaching opportunity!!

AND NOW . . . on to those cartoons!

Almost here: Group Coaching

A Process Designed to Support Clients
with all kinds of minds!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

©Phillip Martin, artist/educator

Does anything below sound like YOU?

• Have you ever felt that you are essentially alone in your struggles with time and time-management, focus and follow-through as the result of PTSD, TBI/ABI, ADD/EFD — or brain-based struggles as the result of chemo-therapy or medication side-effects or chronic pain — or even something considered “normal,” such as age-related cognitive decline?
• Do the people you love fail to really understand your challenges, so their suggestions & nudges don’t really help (and sometimes make things more difficult)?
• Is there a pet project languishing on a back burner for FAR too long, but you can’t seem to “make” yourself get to it – or can’t find the time to do it amid the distractions of life’s many competing to-dos?
• Have you accepted the dumb idea that your real problem is chronic procrastination because you have heard it so often it simply must be true – as you continue to struggle on in some attempt to just-DO-it?
• Do you LIVE with someone who constantly lets you down, despite their assertions that they never intend to do so? Would you LOVE to understand how to “motivate” them and keep them on task to completion – BEFORE you give in to your impulse to strangle them?
• Is your home or office so cluttered you rarely have the motivation to clean and organize, as day slips into clutter-mounting day?

Do you need help
you don’t think you can afford?

Would you love to hire a Sherpa: a highly-experienced, systems-development professional at the TOP of the field, but can’t fit the fees for one-on-one private coaching into your budget?

IN OTHER WORDS:

Do you need a little brain-based coaching to get to the point where you can afford brain-based coaching?

Have I got a Group for YOU!

Running Your Practice so it Doesn’t Run YOU

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover.

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part 1 in the Practice Management Series

FIRST, Get a Mentor Coach —

Flying coachless is doing it the hard way

Coaches who get professionally mentored get up and running faster than those who use the “lone ranger” approach — up to 4 times faster. (According to Thomas Leonard, founder of Coach U – which trains non-ADD coaches).  

They make more money, attract and keep more clients, and have more satisfaction with their practices.

No Kidding!

Even though I refer to Thomas’ statement quite a lot NOW, I wasn’t sure if I believed it when I first read it in the early ’90s

I wasn’t totally convinced when I mentored with him, when I heard the words come out of his very own mouth in his typical “just what’s so” charge-neutral fashion — but I certainly embrace it whole-heartedly now!

It not only turns out to be true with “vanilla” coaches, it seems especially true in the ADD Coaching field.

• The added accountability certainly helps us follow-through, so days don’t turn into weeks, months or years of “meant to but never did.”

• The “externalized pre-frontal cortex” dynamic, to keep rumination at bay is essential.

• And nobody could fail to appreciate the “Sherpa” component — unless the only way they can learn is through repeated recovery from mistakes that could have been avoided.

• The primary value of Mentor Coaching, however, seems to be its “Challenging” feature: on our own, we seem to set smaller goals to keep from overwhelming ourselves with “over-the-top” inhumanly unrealistic ones.

ADDing in the Spirit

^{ADDing in the Spirit to Allow Success to Emerge}

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie and Peggy Ramundo,
content of the ACO conference binder, from
joint presentation at the 5th Annual ACO convention

The ADD Coach’s Dilemma . . .

“How do I manage strengths-based coaching when I’m dealing with deficits?”

With the necessity of time spent on “functional pragmatics” and ADD/ADHD information in our niche, ADD coaches often struggle to find a way to implement what is often referred to as “whole person coaching.”

Whole Person Coaching:

Partnering with clients to facilitate the process of designing a life of power, beauty and fulfillment: aligned with client standards and values, meeting client needs, and maintaining client-appropriate boundaries;

Championing growth and development as clients move from goal to goal to fashion an experience of living that is an increasingly greater expression of the client’s life purpose.
—————-
from OFI’s ADD Coach Training Program reference materials, written by founder
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, MCC, SCAC; ^©1994, 2006, 2011, all rights reserved.

 And the Solution  .  .  .   

The ADD MasterCoach Profile™

— Updated legacy post – original 04/29/98 —

Measurements of Mastery

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The ADD MasterCoach Profile™ is rigorous – daunting, even – but you won’t believe the impact on your practice. 

When you score above 85 on The MasterCoach Profile™, not only will your practice be sustainably full, you will be one of the leaders in the ADD Coaching field and a model for every single coach in the industry.

While there are no real guarantees in this business, working The ADD MasterCoach Profile™ is the closest thing to a guarantee you will find in the coaching field.

There is simply no way you can score well on this Program and not be at the top of the field by any standard you would care to measure.

The ADDCoach JumpStart™ Program

— Updated legacy post – original 04/25/98 —

The ADDCoach JumpStart™ Program —

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

ADDCoach JumpStart™  identifies and tracks 100 key factors that combine to promote rapid practice building in a manner that is consistent with developing and maintaining a full, rewarding and profitable ADD Coaching practice.

It  gives you a way to quantify your efforts.

JumpStart™ is the initial program of the two practice building programs I developed to support the OFI Associates, the ADD coaches trained through The Optimal Functioning Institute™ during the course of the flagship ADD-specific coach training.

The ADD MasterCoach Profile™ was designed to take those coaches to the next level.

I also make both Programs available to my private mentor clients and currently use them to help  structure and motivate my Mentor Groups.

Modeled after the brilliant programs developed by one of my first coaching mentors, coaching field founder Thomas J. Leonard for CoachU (now a division ofCoach Inc.), the two programs together are designed to take you from your current coaching level, whatever that is, to ADD Coaching mastery.

Everyone begins with Jumpstart™, moving up to The ADD MasterCoach Profile™ only when your Jumpstart™ score lets us both know you are ready for it.