10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider

10-Step Coaching – NOT just for ADD
Things to think about that can give you a Brand New LIFE

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another coaching article for Counseling Awareness Month
Reflections: edited reposting

Begin with a pen, pencil
(or crayon!) and a pad of your favorite paper — or your favorite software on your computer (whatever you believe works best for YOU – but I promise it will work best for your brain to do it on paper).

Find a comfortable place to perch
while you meander through the ten items below.

I promised you simple – but not easy – so plan on spending 30-45 minutes or longer – as much time as you can spare, but don’t try to squeeze it all in between activities and interruptions. You need to get into a thinking space and stay there, even if that means you take it in segments.

FIRST, gather everything you are going to need
so you’re not tempting to wander away mid-process:

  • Something to write with – and on – or
  • Whatever electronic toy you swear works better for you
  • Something to drink
  • Maybe something to snack on while you work

Adjust your clothing, if you need to.  Unfasten anything that needs to be looser. Kick off your shoes if you feel like it.  Squirm around until you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Take several d-e-e-p breaths, exhaling slowly, while you think about your life as it is RIGHT NOW, before you work your way through the list below.

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Allow things to drift into your mind . . .

Don’t force ANYTHING

  • Where do things feel stuck?
  • What would you like to be different?
  • What seems to be the biggest struggle?
  • Where do you feel tethered to the treadmill?
  • Where is “working hard” keeping you from spending time on what you love — and on what’s easy?

Whatever pops into your head is fine.  Don’t over-think this, just bring it to consciousness gently.

When you feel ready, take some time to reflect on each of the points below.

Capture your thinking in writing, not only to make sure you come up with some specifics, but also so that you can go back to it whenever you want.

Ten Change-your-life Concepts

1.  There is nothing wrong here.

2.  What’s working already?

3. What’s working about it?

• What values are being expressed?
• What needs are being met in a healthy, constructive way?
• What systems are already in place?
• What strengths are being utilized naturally?
• What skills light you up when you use them?

4. How can we expand that into the rest of your life?

5. What are you tolerating?  (Where is life a royal pain in the butt?)

6. What actions can you take (or requests can you make) to eliminate all tolerations, one by one?

7. What’s in the way of your really shining?

• Where are the blockades, tar pits, falling rocks and mudslides?
• What are you trying to do the hard way (for you)?

8. What work-arounds can be developed to handle the tasks you don’t like to do,
— and probably don’t do well as a result?

9. What systems can we put in place that utilize your strengths?

10. If your life worked EXACTLY the way you’d like it to, what would it look like?

• What’s one version of Your Ideal Life?
• What’s another?
• What would definitely NOT be part of your ideal life?

Did you DO it?

If yes, good for you! (If no, why not? Really – as a real question.)

NEXT, let’s work on setting up your life so you love it.  You’ll develop an action plan and, if you hire me as your coach – in any format, I’ll be the wind at your back every step of the way.

I can also help you get clear on some of the points above in your very own life.

So can a Peer Coach or a good, non-judgmental friend.

This is your LIFE we’re talking about here – let yourself accept a little outside perspective.  Like most other things in life, this work is a lot more fun to do with a partner. Click HERE to send me an SOS and talk about coaching with me

As always, if you want notification of new articles in this Series – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy

IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)

You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.

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(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —

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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

53 Responses to 10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider

  1. Pingback: April 2017: Mental Health Awareness | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. dgkaye says:

    Pen and paper are my tools of the trade. 🙂 Happy Easter my friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A very good post, Madelyn. I like the idea of writing things down – helps one focus and you can keep and refer back to your thoughts. Fortunately, I am pretty happy in my life most of the time although I could do without the current politics – here in South Africa and elsewhere.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I like to make myself take a look every few years, just to make sure I’m not becoming root-bound.

      As for politics and politicians – I say put them ALL on an ocean liner, strand them in the middle of the ocean, and let them duke it out for the rest of their lives. Give them a special twitter account for anyone who is interested in their soundbites — or those who want to bet on the outcome of their games – lol. 🙂


      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for the reblog – and my apologies for taking so long to approve and say thanks – Akismet autospammed you, but I recognized your name from your many reblogs around the ‘sphere and dug you out to say thank you very much and manually approve you. Hopefully, you won’t get spammed again.


  4. We like the paper idea… there is something about writing thoughts that stimulates the thought processes. Also liked the 10 step process and yes, we did do it. This is a regular morning routine here and its amazing how the rest of the day seems to fall in synch. The hard part though is before we know the day is gone. Great post Madelyn.


  5. Madelyn these Ten shall train the first Ten next shall help the next Ten and shall multiply into Ten into Ten that shall ADD and go on adding.😃

    Liked by 1 person

  6. -Eugenia says:

    Enlightening post, Madelyn. I like to think I am imperfectly perfect. That gives me a lot of room for improvement.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. John Fioravanti says:

    I’d like to do this exercise in the next couple of days. I need to find some quiet time to do it justice. Thanks a bunch!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. robjodiefilogomo says:

    I almost want to send this to my mom…but she’d probably take it the wrong way. You know, that mother & daughter thing.
    Since I couldn’t reply anymore in the last thread we were discussing—I thought I’d let you know. I did get your thoughts on our first post—thanks!!
    What I wasn’t getting was the email to say you had replied in your blog post (the one that says you liked the comment that I made on a post)—it was interesting. But I got the last one, so it’s probably my email server’s fault!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Who knows what evils lurk on server streets – bwahahaha – not EVEN The Shadow. And then there are all those different applications that have to work as designed. I guess it’s like the snail mail – amazing anything ever arrives at all. 🙂

      In any case, I will be working in dribs and drabs today & tomorrow on finishing #1 & #3. and drafting #2 (which will include mgh comments for your post). If life cooperates, it won’t take long to complete each piece. I’ll leave a heads up when I send them – probably on voicemail.
      PS: nudging me on the blog is ALWAYS a good idea where email is concerned.


  9. GP Cox says:

    A few times I have analyzed and reflected back on my past and present life. I’ll look into this method and see what I come up with. Thank you.


    • I got a lot from my skills & tasks reflection. I have noted that those of us who have been blessed with many skills have a tendency to feel we MUST use them – and get extra credit or something if we “farm the rocks” rather than moving down to the fertile valley where things are easy with more ROI.

      Some “efforting” is good for the brain and how we grow, but if it’s how we deal with life overall, it doesn’t make for a life that is very satisfying (or a whole lot of fun!). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Lucy Brazier says:

    This is wonderful! I am very lucky in that my life, whilst of course not perfect, is pretty much where I want it to be. I took myself through a similar process a couple of years ago to understand what would really make me happy and how I really wanted to live. It is so easy to get discouraged when things/life goes wrong – so easy to sit back and complain or lament. I cannot stress enough how much better it is to instead think about how to start fixing things, set new goals. You are a beacon of light in a dark world, my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I will do it today…. thanks so much for sharing this 10 questions… I see them as a “launching pad” for me… and I hope so much with answering this question honest I can see what I did/or do wrong and I can change it :o)

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Great words of encouragement and inspiration and support Madelyn really coachers can get so much knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

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